i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
