His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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