I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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