I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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