Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
