2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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