I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
