Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
