Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
