You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
