Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
