And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
