so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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