Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
