Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
