dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
