I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Say something about gay babies.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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