I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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