dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I love you. Go after that dick
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
