i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
