I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
