it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
