Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
