Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
