What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
