i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
