She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Shame - the story of my life.
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