I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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