come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
