He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
