When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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