Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
