so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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