Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
