Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
