Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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