He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
