Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Randomize
