Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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