Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
