it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
