thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
