in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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