So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
