You just made me feel so damn special
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
