forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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