you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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