That's intense
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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