i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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