What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
In the name of friendship, Iām going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
