as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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